Where our intrepid traveller takes many a spill.....

So..... adventures.... I've had a few!! Im currently at Jeju Island which is at the south of Korea and seeing the sights. Waiting for the weather to improve so I could hike up Koreas highest mountain, I did some touristy stuff. I felt like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider, as I navigated my way through some amazing lava tubes and then felt a little like Jack Nicholson in the Shining as I got very lost in a hedge maze. (Seriously folks.. mazes are really frusrating!!)
So finally the weather improves and I get to hike up Mt Hallan the next day. I awake BEFORE sunrise to catch the bus to the start of the hike and off I go. I should have sensed something bad was affoot as the guy at the ticket booth looked very concerned as he studied my hiking boots for a lengthy amount of time, but of course I headed off obstinately anyway...
The beginning of the hike (20k's in all people!!) is beautiful. The ground has a smattering of snow and the sun is rising and looking all pretty like through the trees. My mind wanders to bizarre thoughts such as 'Does Harrison Ford always save the world in films?' 'Did anyone else find Jeff Goldblum's bod quite amazing in the Fly?' and who thinks making films like 'Hypercube' is a good idea... (I have nodded off each night watching Korean cable, can you tell??) At one point however, my bowels decided it was time for them to move..... not good... I was in the middle of nowhere!! Luckily, like a mirage, toilets appeared out of nowhere!! I praised the lord, but admittedly, these toilets did resemble those in 'Trainspotting!!" But they were toilets nonetheless!! Anyway, the first 8 ks to the top is great, and Im lovin it all. However the last kilometre to the mountain crater is a bit of a killer and its where I realise my hiking boots are not actually made for trekking in the snow. I suddenly realise that the hard core Korean hikers surrounding me are actually very smart with their boot snow chains and spikes and their walking sticks. However, I do slip and slide my way to the top to see a snow filled volcano crater. Its kinda cool, but I think it looks better in the spring!!!
Well, then its time to head down, and good old me decides to take a different route on the way back. I begin my descent carefully, and realise in the icy snow, going down is going to be ten times harder than going up... About 10 minutes in and I take my first spill onto my ass. 10 minutes later, another spill. It seems this is going to be the theme for the next few hours. I find it weird that there are no other hikers on this route, and realise that there is probably a really good reason for that... But its too late to turn around now. Finally, I see another hiker ahead of me. I walk past her and then suddenly fall on my ass for the third time, but it doesnt stop there... oh no... I continue to slide down on my ass for a good 30m or so, trying to grab onto tree branches or anything else on the way, but to no avail. Finally I manage to dig my boots into the ground to stop myself. Why did that one have to happen while someone was watching? It was the kind of fall that could have ended up much worse, but also would have won 'Australias funniest home video' for sure.
I really expected the ice to begin to disappear eventually, but no, it didnt... 8 spills later and my patience was wearing thin. A trio of old Korean dudes found me very entertaining sliding down the mountain. Finally a younger guy passed me and stopped and offered me his spikes from his boots. I politely declined and he headed past me. However, a minute later he was waiting for me at the top of a particuarly steep bit, and took off the spikes of one of his shoes and insisted I take them, as he lead me down the mountain. When we stopped for a break with 3 ks to go, who was there, but the old trio from before who gave me oranges and chocolate. What legends.
Anyway, we made it to the bottom and life was almost good again. I headed back to my hostel and lay on my bed. I felt like death. Not only had my body taken a battering falling down so many times, but my stomach was not a happy camper. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening lying in bed, feeling like death as I battled a case of diarrhoea!!! This morning I awoke early to catch a ferry back to the mainland, only to find all ferries are cancelled due to bad weather. With less than a week until my flight, im hoping the weather improves soon!!! And yes, I still have diarrhoea!! Wish me well folks xx

Korea... Part One

Things Im Lovin' about Korea
* The food... its fab!
* Efficient public transport.. believe me, such a change from Melbourne!! And... the subway seats warm your ass,,, what more can you ask for??
* Things never seem to close... You can see a film at 8.00am or eat a decent feed at 4.00am
* Public toilets... they're so CLEAN!!! Some even heat your ass as you squeeze one out!!
* Beautiful hiking trails
* Really really fast trains... They go like 300kph!! Thats fast!!
* Restaurants that have pictures of the food in the menu, or really ugly plastic sculptures of the dishes in their front windows that mean stupid westerners such as myself, can just point at the food they want. You will never starve in this country!!
* Meeting randon English speaking Korean men and being invited to their home for tea (and no, 'tea' is not code for something else)
* Going to a pool hall in Seoul and being given free Yakult!! They care about my guts!!

Things I'm not really lovin' about Korea (and yes some of these may make me look culturally insensitive but hey, I can live with that!)
* Its really cold in Seoul.... it snows!!!
* People are always in a hurry. I've had many a 98 year old nearly knock me out of their way to get to that one subway seat, that I didn't even want!!! Apparently, the older you are here, the more you get to push people about...
* Hostels that think its sufficient to heat the floor and thats all. So if its freezing outside, you can come in and sleep on the floor, and be reasonably warm, but your glass of water on the bedstand will turn to ice overnight.
* Ageing backpackers. Briefly, Antonio, from Italy, who found a pair of my undies on the floor, picked them up and held them for a scarily long amount of time before handing them over. And Louisa... a very heavy breathing French Canadian old woman who ate nothing but oranges. Four, sometime five in a row. I swear, I have never heard anyone eat so loudly in my entire life... and the snoring... dont even get me started!! Oh, and the old American dude who could not understand why anyone would go to Africa or SEA or even South America, because they are 'uncivilised' places (but I guess I cant blame Korea for this one!!)
* Bad bad Korean pop music

Thats all for now folks... you know I will add to these lists... its just a matter of time...

Vietnam

Ok, so until I get home and have access to a computer that is not half in Japanese script, this blog shall contain only my fabulous wit and charm. Prose so clever that you will not need pictures as my words form images in your mind!!
Vietnam...... One month.......
Basically I met up with my dear frind Matty Gairns on Boxing Day in Saigon, where we spent the next FOUR days waiting for my other dear friend Azza to arrive so we could hit the beach for NYE. Together we headed to Mui Ne where we spent a debaucherous NY where Matty and I found our dancing shoes on the beach at about 4 in the morning, much to the disgust of Azza who was left almost unable to defend himself from the charms of a very drunk local who claimed to be a doctor. (he could prove it with a stethescope he had hung around his neck!!)
I could now bore you with every detail of the next few weeks heading north with Azza, but instead I shall break it down into highlights and lowlights....

HIGHLIGHTS
* Bike riding... Vietnam was made for cruising round on an old school bicycle complete with basket!!
* Halong Bay (look it up if you don't know!!)
* 12 hour drinkathons (beginning on a boat in Halong Bay, and finishing at some bar in Hanoi!!)
* Salty fried peanuts
* Playing "Count the fat Vietnamese person." However, we did lose interest in the game after about day 5, when we were stuck on 40
* Playing "Count the number of running Vietnamese people." Day 20.... Score 4
* Inadvertently ending up in more than one girly bar

LOWLIGHTS
* Realising the guy who wrote the Vietnam Lonely Planet is almost certain to be writing it from a beautiful beach in Thailand
* Dreams of fabulous train rides up the country shattered by scary train staff, and mental Vietnamese women with a passion for beer and being generally loud sitting on a 'wanting to be asleep' me at five in the morning.
* Beaches covered in all sorts of crap.... one in particular strewn with clothes....!
* Still on the final day, being unable to pronounce any Vietnames with any certainty of being understood.

From the heat of Saigon, I flew into Seoul on January 24th. Imagine my delight when as we landed, the pilot announced... "Welcome to Seoul. The outside temperature is -10 degrees. Now, according to all Melbourninan facebook updates, Melbourne is currently facing 40+ degree days.... One can only ask... what the f*&k am I doing????